im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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