if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize