Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
