We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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