shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
