i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
