We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she told me i tasted like america
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
