I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Randomize
