your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
