Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize