On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
