Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
