In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
soo... how was my night?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
