I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
