i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize