not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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