so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
