But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
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The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.