just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.