I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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