So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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