oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
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listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
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What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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