There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
