Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i think my tv is drunk
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should really pass out barf bags in church
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize