There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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