none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Randomize
