How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
