Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
