Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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