you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
