she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
