All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
