hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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