The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
