I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
