he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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