Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
