My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
