I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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