dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
