forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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