just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
