she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
