were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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