I feel like abortions should bother me more
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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