i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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