just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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