he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
