**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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