Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
