dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sorry about my life...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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