Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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