Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
