was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
