1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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