I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
