take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it's like iHOP with fire
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
