I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
