I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
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I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
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I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup