I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm both gender and math confused
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