Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.