Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
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Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
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she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it