we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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