yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize